IWSG - A Casual Affair

Hey, gang! Hope those of you who celebrated turkey and togetherness last week did so in grand fashion. It's time to for another Insecure Writer's Support Group post (IWSG). 

What is IWSG? Besides being a collection of awesome people, it's THE support network for writers. We offer each other encouragement and commiseration on the first Wednesday of each month. Click the pic below for more details and to learn how to join.

A fling… 

A flirt… 

A dalliance… 

A romp… 

A cup of devilishly unusual tea in a strange café I'll never set foot in again…

Sometimes writing a story is all of those things to me. It's like a pair of expensive shoes so impractical I'll only be able to wear them once, with a specific shirt, and then put them back in the box forever. It's one night spent in the company of a beautiful stranger, no names or phone numbers exchanged.

I firmly believe writing CAN be a casual affair. Thing is, it took me a while to work up to being able to accept that. 

See, I've been something of a serial monogamist when it comes to my writing. For the most part, I'm a Plain Jane, stick-in-the-mud, write-what-I-love kind of writer. 

I like fantasy. The impossible excites me. Thinking about dark things that shouldn't exist frightens me--in a terribly good way. The story is a-rocking when fantastical things come a-knocking so to speak.

I like feisty characters who crack the quip-whip with reckless abandon. (Don't stand too close! She'll snap you!) Bold is usually the first--and main--ingredient in my protagonist soup.

So what happens when I start writing a contemporary story with a main character who is more contemplative than combative? A story where I can't toss in an explosion or fangs when things start to drag?

*breathes heavily into paper sack*

I get a little nervous. The itchy, twitchy shakes set in. If I'm being completely honest, it feels a little like I'm stepping out on my main gal. No, it goes deeper than that. At times it feels more like I'm betraying my very writing nature.

But it's damned fun! Like a kid playing dress up, I get to be something I'm not. I get to be a writer of "serious fiction" (well, not SO serious--War And Peace this is not). In that way it is fantasy I suppose. 

Perhaps the most important aspect of playing in the shadows of my comfort zone is that it has forced me to grow as a writer. Nothing about writing this contemporary story has come easily for me. There's no writing from the cuff. It's a blissful struggle most days. 

And like all meaningful workouts, it sometimes leaves me sore and questioning if I'm fit enough to pull it off. Then I'll re-read a few pages. 

I'll see that I'm letting characters express themselves in ways I've never done before. A good scene will jump out, and I'll think, "I could never have done this in fantasy!" 

I'll find a few nuggets of sparkling brilliance in a mine full of dark rocks. My confidence spikes (a little LOL) and I get back to digging, because I know I might just hit the mother load if I keep at it.

Will I consider myself a master of contemporary fiction when I'm done? Will anyone else? Not likely. But I will have had one heck of a good time doing it. Who knows, maybe I'll even try another one.

What about you? Have you written anything outside of your usual genre or category lately? How did it turn out? Would you do it again?

~EJW~ 

IWSG + Indie Life: Debunking Perfection

Hey, gang! Hope everyone is doing well. Sorry I've been MIA lately, lots of travel, etc. and more to come I'm afraid. But I'm going to check in as often as I can. (So no house parties!)

I've been reading a lot of A to Z retrospective posts lately. Most of them sound something like this: "I screwed up and missed a day or two. I was overly ambitious with my theme. I feel like I've been on a month-long acid trip, I now wear bifocals, a clump of my hair fell out in the shower from the stress, and I have seizures every time my child sings his A,B,C's... but I had fun."

I've done A to Z a grand total of one time and that was enough to make me sympathize with you. It is fun. You meet crazy amounts of people. But it can totally deplete your blogging and social media mojo. Like for months. 

It's especially hard on people who strive for perfection, or are just really serious about doing a good job. Which, DING DING DING you guessed it, includes most of us writer types.

You don't write for publication if you aren't driven to prove yourself--maybe just to you. Getting a story from concept to polished and shareable is grueling work. You have to care. Lots. It may sound harsh, but the people who don't care just don't last long in this business.

As part of that caring we often shoot for perfection. Or what we perceive to be perfection. Why put that pressure on ourselves? Because it's seemingly all everyone around us does.

Those annoyingly perfect bloggers that never miss a day, have ALL the followers, and share stuff so important that you never miss a post even though you secretly despise them. The authors who publish a new book every month and have one-hundred 5 star reviews two weeks before the book even drops. Those social media gurus who rack up follows and retweets like a dog collects fleas. The writer who just signed a six-figure deal for her first novel that isn't even finished and is exactly like the book you just read, just with angels instead of vampires, and were-monkeys instead of wolves.

They're perfect. Their lives are perfect. I bet if we went over to their house right now we'd find a Lexus with a bow on it in the driveway, their 2.5 kids playing hopscotch in the street with no traffic, and a labrador and kitten frolicking with deer in the front yard. It's enough to make you gag, but it shouldn't...
  
My fellow indies and insecure writers, I'm here to let you in on a little secret: It's total BS. Perfection is a myth. ESPECIALLY in the writing business. 

We are ALL fraught with worry that our last story was indeed our last. We all set up at night wondering what the heck we're going to blog about tomorrow, or if we even want blog again at all. We all have days and weeks go by without writing a thing and are embarrassed by it because we call ourselves writers. We all watch television, Facebook, and Tweet when we should be reading something that will help us get better. We all have a backlog of manuscripts from friends we need to read and critique, but barely have time to sleep, so we keep putting them off. We all get bad reviews. We all have to answer to relatives we love who ask the, "When will you have something published?" questions. We all blush when we're truthful about how much time we put into this stuff and how little money we make in return. We all wish we did it for something other than money, but secretly know we'd sure like to make some money, too. We are all sick of rejection, and are ashamed by the number of dead manuscripts we have lying in the 'graveyard hard drive'. We all regret a few queries we hit 'send' on prematurely, a few blog posts we've published in anger, and the friends we've let down or lost touch with along the way to wherever we're at. We all reach a point where we want to give up.

So I guess I'm asking for everyone to let go of that perfection goal for a little while. (Doesn't have to be forever.) It's lofty and unattainable in your writing and in your life. It's okay to miss blog posts, to fail to promote a friend because you forgot, and to not write for a few days. Heck, it might even be a healthy dose of perspective.

And speaking of missing blog posts! My apologies to my IWSG friends for missing last Wednesday's monthly go-round. I have no excuse other than life swept me away. I'll do better next month, and know that you heavily inspired today's post. :) 

Click the buttons to learn all about the Indie Life group and the Insecure Writer's Support Group. They are full of fantastic folks, and you won't regret joining up. 

~EJW~

A Writer's Soft Underbelly

Howdy, all! Want to say a quick thanks for all the birthday wishes. Had a great week, and your thoughtfulness made it even better. 

Also want to say welcome to the new followers. Hurricane Alex blew some of his good Web karma my way, and I always love having new faces around. 

Hope you enjoy my thoughts, I assure you I'll enjoy yours. (HINT HINT - Make sure you comment. Lots.)

Now for business. Well, as close to business as it gets around here...

A WRITER'S SOFT UNDERBELLY

Don't let the spectacles, cartoon covered sweatshirts, corduroy trousers and twitchy-eyed staring off into space fool you; writer's are a tough lot. At least we're supposed to be.

Rejection? Been there. Ridicule? Done that. Having our dreams hearts ripped out, danced upon and put back into place? Doing that tomorrow, and that's just breakfast.

We're all sarcastic and smarmy. We judge and get judged just for giggles. We're all artsy elitist who wear bulletproof underwear and trash even the most successful of our peers. 

"Blind monkeys with stumps for hands could've written that pig excrement, and somehow she made the NYTB list!"

 *maniacal laugh*




Yeah, not so much.

Don't get me wrong, some of us ARE smarmy. Some of us DO hate on our talented peers. Hell, some might actually own bulletproof undies. (Lots of powder is the key. So I'm told...)

And if you're going stay in the writing game for more than a couple of weekends a year, you're hide is going to toughen. It has to. That or you'll bleed to death from all the picking over that's required to actually get good at it.

So I suppose we are tough, in a fashion, but we're also enormously vulnerable.  

Rejection is a given. It sort of HAS to happen at some point. It's inevitable, but it still scares the hell out of us. We ridicule ourselves even if no one else does. We think what we do is utterly pointless and the worst kind of refuse--and that's often before we've written a word! 

It's just the process. It motivates. It drives. In that way, I think most writers would tell you a soft underside is just as key to doing the writing stuff as having thick skin. 

Vulnerability makes for good writing. Thick skin helps you survive until you find it.

Still, even if I know being sensitive is just part of the game, it sometimes gets the best of me.

If you're on Twitter I'm sure you've gotten at least one spam message that says something like: "Hey, have you heard what this person said about you?" or "People are saying bad things about your blog." There's always a link. It's usually from someone you don't know and are pretty sure never read anything you've written.

Now I've never clicked on one of those links, as I hear it's a pretty common virus scam. Plus, I'm not really one prone to care about what bad things people say about me, especially to the point I would electively subject myself to it. 

I like to think my momma raised me quicker than that; if you want to call me a jerk to my face, I'll listen, but don't expect me to track you down to hear it.

Still, it's a pretty insidious way to attack a writer's vulnerabilities. In this Web age, I think we're all a little sensitive to being talked about. It's the ugly flip side to the BUZZ (still hate that word) coin. 

Being talked about, having word spread about what we're doing on our blogs, Twitter, or with our writing, is important. It's how we grow beyond our coffee tables, desks, or wherever our writing habitats might be.

Most of us don't blog to be in a vacuum. We kind of hope other people will read it. Same with our writing. So when that talk/buzz turns negative, it can hurt.

Confession time: I'm paranoid about it. Not to the point I Google my name or anything, but I often wonder if people are out there saying bad things about me. 

Why am I paranoid? Over the years (?!) I've been doing this, I’ve caught a couple of other bloggers referencing my blog negatively on their blogs. I’m sure they didn’t think I’d read it, but I follow a good chunk of the people that follow my blog, and it popped up in my reader.

I use this as a personal example, but it makes me wonder if any of you have areas you're particularly vulnerable? Maybe I'm just touchy about the word-of-mouth stuff? 

I can take a bad critique pretty well. I wouldn't necessarily care if a non-writer said I was a fool. But something about the thought of having other writer-bloggers dissing me makes me squirm a little. 

In the end, I guess it's like all the other little things that eat at me as a writer: Eventually that spot will toughen and I'll be able to use it as motivation.

~EJW~ 

A Writing Champ Knows How to Take a Punch

There are many truisms in life. Little nuggets of wisdom that almost universally endure the eroding waves of cause and effect. Basic principals that go un-scortched amid the persistent flames of action and reaction. It's yin and yang. It's up then down. It's "60% of the time, it works every time."



Here are two examples:

1) If you go to Disney World, you're going to have fun. Lots. 

2) If you write box competitively, you're going to get hit in the face. Lots.

"That's my gift. I let that negativity roll off me like water off a duck's back. If it's not positive, I didn't hear it. If you can overcome that, fights are easy." - George Foreman

Let's consider that C word for a moment. Being competitive doesn't necessarily mean you're out to win or conquer someone else. It just means you're in it for more than recreation. Even when it isn't fun or amusing, you'll keep trying. You'll try until you're proficient, even if you fail a bunch of times prior to that point. You'll keep going once you ARE proficient in an effort to snag the uncatchable: perfection.  

Being competitive is active, not passive. You don't wait for (or expect) something to simply happen, you strive to make it happen.

"A champion shows who he is by what he does when he's tested. When a person gets up and says 'I can still do it', he's a champion." - Evander Holyfield

The competitive stuff seems kind of painful, right? It is! In fact, I'd argue that if it isn't hurting, you aren't doing it right. Growing sucks, but it's necessary if you're going to realize your potential--in anything.

You'll never master walking without falling a bunch. No one rides a bike on the first try. The first day of a new workout routine is going to kick your butt, no matter how good of shape you're in. To be the main event means you've fought a BUNCH of undercards along the way.

Life, boxing and writing have this in common: resiliency and toughness are earned--both taking and giving--one punch at a time; success or failure comes with the final blow, not the first. 

"I'm scared every time I go into the ring, but it's how you handle it. What you have to do is plant your feet, bite down on your mouthpiece and say, 'Let's go.' " -Mike Tyson

As writers, what kinds of punches can we expect on our way to the title? I imagine it goes something like the following ...

THE QUICK JAB

This'll be the first real hit you take, probably when you've put your work out for public flogging for the first time. Could be a teaser/excerpt on your blog, could be the reading of a poem at your local coffee house--heck, it might be fan fiction you've posted on a Wizards of Warcraft site.

You'll mostly get the 'it was fun!' or 'good job!' kinds of feedback, but there'll be that one person (Crazy Grammar Lady-CGL) who mistakes your relatively frivolous effort for something more serious. CGL will point out a misspelled word (or six), an egregious run-on or maybe your sixth-grade understanding of the proper usage of there, their and they're. 

What does it matter? Everyone knows CGL is crazy and is as tactless as a tired two-year old. You'll pretend it's no big deal, but in your heart of hearts you thought it was pretty darn good or you would've never put it out there. 

So the punch lands. It hits you square in the nose. Your eyes water. Flinching, you check to make sure there's no blood. This is for real! This is the moment you become a serious writer or not. You'll either put your gloves up or deem the pain isn't worth it and call it quits. 

If you fight on, you'll come to recognize CGL as the first real writer you ever encountered...

THE RIGHT CROSS

You've landed a few jabs, taken a few jabs--you're really mixing it up now! You've joined a critique group of serious writers. After a few weeks of giving excellent feedback on other people's work, you submit your own. You've come to know these people personally, and you respect their talent. You'll graciously accept anything they have to tell you.

A few of them give you some soft jabs. "Keep at it!" "You have great descriptions!" You're feeling good. Then Larry "I've Been Published in a Magazine" Floyd Jr. steps into the ring. You playfully bob and weave as he steps to you. Suddenly he knocks your gloves down and nails you in the chops. POW!

Reading your dialogue is like eavesdropping at a robot cocktail party. Your use of adverbs is pathetically, abominably and relentlessly out of control. Your plot is so well hidden we're more likely to find Amelia Earhart first. On and on he goes until you're left staggered and dazed.  

You realize he's fighting to knock you out, not just to spar a few rounds. You'll consider going down to the mat and taking the ten count. Maybe you weren't cut out for this after all? 

After a few moments (days, weeks, months), your head clears and you get mad. You realize Larry was trying to bully you out of the ring. You didn't even take a proper swing back at him for Pete's sake! You fight on. After exchanging some real punches, you realize you're stronger than before. 

As it turns out, old Larry was toughening you up, not running you over. You'll probably thank him in the acknowledgements of your first book.

THE UPPERCUT 

You think you're well-conditioned now. You've fought the local circuit to a standstill and it's time to step up a class. If you're going to be a title contender, you'll need to land a serious opponent after all. 

There's this agent whose blog you follow. She's perfect for the story you've been hammering away on for the past three years. She's even responded to a couple of your Tweets, so you're practically BFF. You know she'll love it so you stick your chin out and fire off the query ...

SMACK! Thirty minutes after you hit send, she catches you with a form letter rejection to the jaw. You fall back into the ropes, then to your knees. How could this happen? Three years of work shot to hell in thirty minutes! All the training in the world can't fix a glass jaw, you reason. It's the first time you've truly been knocked down and you're humiliated. No getting up from this one... 

THE LEFT HOOK IN THE 12th ROUND

You got back up when you realized all the great fighters get knocked down. You stayed in the fight and learned a few things about querying, writing and yourself along the way. You've developed a reputation as a hard-nosed brawler and you even landed an agent. You're experienced and polished. It's time for a shot at the title.

Your manuscript is on submission, and your agent is working hard in your corner. You've been trading blows. The judges love you. The fans are behind you. Rumor has it you've even caught the eye of a big shot editor at a big shot publishing house. If you can just last the round surely you'll win by decision.

BAM! Maybe it was fatigue, maybe it was excitement, but you let your guard down a split second. The editor took a new job. They no longer want your story. Worse still, your agent decides he isn't the best fit for your work. Maybe you got the book out, but your first major review let you have it like a rented mule. Three months out, and you can't even find your book in the Amazon Marketplace. You're back at square one.

The uppercut set you up, the hook finished you off. You're down on the mat and you feel like you're staring through paper towel tubes. Someone is counting, but you aren't sure who. The world goes black. Cue the circling song birds.  

BOUNCING BACK

Muhammad Ali lost only 5 matches. Joe Lewis lost only 3. Sugar Ray Robinson (voted by ESPN as the greatest boxer of all time) lost only 19 over the course of 202 bouts and 25 years! Though their legacies would defy the logic, in the moment of defeat I'm sure each man felt like an utter and complete failure. The real fighters always do when they falter. It's not that competitors don't get discouraged, it's just that they don't quit.

I'm not suggesting writers have to be physically tough, although I sometimes think it might help keep the critics a little quieter. No, recent experience has just reminded me that we have to have the mentality of a boxer. We're going to get hit. It's going to hurt. We just have to decide if we're going to keep fighting.  

~EJW~

Dare to Dream

On this day, how can we not reflect on the power of dreaming?  The ability to see beyond what is, and imagine what might be--what should be.  Many people will say that actions change the world, and while I can't argue against such pragmatism, I can argue that without vision there would be no purpose or direction for those actions.

Legendary basketball coach, John Wooden, once said, "Never mistake activity for achievement."  I think he meant that just because you're doing something, it doesn't necessarily make it worthwhile.  Actions, without forethought and without design, are often misplaced and/or futile.  That's where the dreaming kicks in.

Dreaming can give an identity to a goal.  It can give substance to something that has yet to be properly defined.  Think of it this way:  If life were a sandwich, dreams/ambitions would be the top slice of bread, action would be the meat, and the outcomes/goals would be the bottom slice of bread.  Without any one piece, you don't really have a sandwich.

I realize that writers need very little schooling on this concept; after all, most of us are dreamers by our very nature.  We're the PhD's of 'What if?"  However, we sometimes need to be reminded that dreaming is okay.  Imagining things as being either better or worse than what they are can have real value.  It is neither wasted time, or a frivolity of those with too little to do.

Today, we honor a man who did just that.  A man who refused to see reality as being sufficient.  As a small  token of my gratitude, I'd like to share some profound thoughts on dreaming, and hopefully inspire a few more people--if only for today--to move beyond what they know.      


“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.” ~ James Dean

“You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'” ~ George Bernard Shaw

“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” ~ Oscar Wilde

“Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you.” ~ Marsha Norman

“Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions.” ~ Edgar Cayce

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” ~ C.S. Lewis

“If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavors to live the life which one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

“Do not lose hold of your dreams or aspirations. For if you do, you may still exist but you have ceased to live.” ~ HDT

"Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see." ~ MLK, Jr.


-EJW-

Why You SHOULD Steal From Other Authors

It's Monday evening and I'm still alive ... SUCCESS!!! *high fives all around*

Now before anyone blows a gasket over the title of this post, I'll clarify and say that I'm not talking about plagiarism. If you didn't write it, you shouldn't claim it. What I AM talking about is the idea of using the style, techniques, and methods of successful/favorite authors to enhance your own work. This isn't a new idea ...

"Art begins in imitation and ends in innovation." ~ Mason Cooley


One key way that humans (and many other animals/mammals) learn is through imitation. Anyone who has seen children play 'house' or 'school' (or done so themselves) has witnessed it first hand. A psychologist by the name of Albert Bandura developed the Social Learning Theory based upon studies he performed where children were observed interacting with each other. He believed that modeling, which had once been decried as one of the most primitive forms of learning, was in fact used to "learn" many of the higher order social and emotional aspects of human behavior. Things like love, empathy and--more controversially--violent behavior/tendencies.

He was a smart dude.

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest." ~ Confucius

Artists are conduits. We take things in, amplify them in some way, and then spit them back out in our own fashion. Sounds, sights, experiences, emotions, conversations, and any other little thing that gets near us form the raw materials that are used to create.

So if it's as easy as that, why aren't we all bestsellers? If I go through the same process as Stephen King, why is he able to write me under the table? I think it probably comes down to awareness. Observation and imitation are different things. Learning really only occurs when the two are put together.

"Were I called on to define, very briefly, the term Art, I should call it 'the reproduction of what the Senses perceive in Nature through the veil of the soul.' The mere imitation, however accurate, of what is in Nature, entitles no man to the sacred name of 'Artist.'" ~ Edgar Allan Poe

I think Confucius had it right; if we are going to truly learn from the greats, we have to first understand why they're great in the first place (reflection). How? By reading, of course. Read all of your favorites, read a few of the ones you don't like, and then read everything in between. Pay close attention, and learn to notice all of those literary/writing buzz-terms we've been hearing so much about: voice, dialogue, pacing, plot, setting, etc. How did the author employ them? Why?

After you've gleaned all that you can, then move to imitation. Can you write a paragraph or sentence that fans of the author wouldn't be able to set apart? It's harder than it sounds, but if you truly want to understand why a certain author/writing style works, it's a step that must be taken.

"Originality is nothing but judicious imitation. The most original writers borrowed one from another." ~ Voltaire       

"It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation." ~ Herman Melville

While I cannot--and should not--rely solely on imitation, I tend to believe that the key to unlocking my writing potential may very well be held in the collective hands of others. In the end I may utilize but a fraction of what I derive from others in my own writing, but the process of studying their work will surely lead to a strengthening of my own prose.

What about you? Do you have authors you emulate or study? If you could steal a skill from any author what/who would it be? As for me, I'd love to have JK Rowling's plotting abilities! I'll leave you with one final quote.

“Men nearly always follow the tracks made by others and proceed in their affairs by imitation, even though they cannot entirely keep to the tracks of others or emulate the prowess of their models. So a prudent man should always follow in the footsteps of great men and imitate those who have been outstanding. If his own prowess fails to compare with theirs, at least it has an air of greatness about it. He should behave like those archers who, if they are skilful, when the target seems too distant, know the capabilities of their bow and aim a good deal higher than their objective, not in order to shoot so high but so that by aiming high they can reach the target.”  ~ Machiavelli 

-EJW-

Giving Up

We've all faced a moment when giving up seemed to be the only option.  To continue to struggle would yield too much pain, too much embarrassment, or too much compromise.  A moment, when defeat seemed the only end to our suffering.

"Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily."  - Napoleon

Have you ever asked, "Why am I doing this?"  I do.  I have.  I will continue to.  I constantly consider (and reconsider) my ambitions to be a published writer.  I read so many wonderful things on a daily basis, and never once do I not stop to consider, albeit fleetingly: Am I good enough to do this?  I marvel at all of the talented people in the world, and wonder if I could ever create on that level. 

“If you can accept losing, you can't win.” - Vince Lombardi

That's when things get interesting.  It's in those moments when I'm most convinced that I'm waisting my time that I suddenly get some clarity.  When I'm convinced that I'm not using my other abilities and education to the fullest, instead choosing to toil away at something I may only be average at, it suddenly makes sense.  

I keep at it, because I understand that failure is a symptom of success.

“Victory is sweetest when you've known defeat.” - Malcom Forbes

Part of what enables me to keep going are the things I read from each and every one of you all.  Every writer has struggled with fears of failure, not being taken seriously, and the futility of working alone for days (weeks, years, etc.) without affirmation.  Blogging has been great, because it has allowed me to get to know lots of people who face similar challenges.  Although I've never met any of you personally, we share something very important: A shared enthusiasm for, and love of, literature and the burning need to put to paper the craziness that proliferates our minds.  Just know that there are others fighting the same fight gives me courage.

“But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for.” - Paulo Coelho

So I ask you, what do you do when you face defeat?  If giving up has ever crossed your mind, where did you turn?  Better still, what do you plan to do the next time doubt creeps up on you?

-EJW-