Carving out writing time--and not folding laundry, feeding kids, playing with dogs, catching up on Walking Dead, going to work, showering, etc., etc.--can be tricky. Why? Because not everyone sees it as such an essential activity as we writers do.
This gets particularly tricky if you're doing National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) types of things, because you're not just ducking out for a quick nip with the keyboard every now and again, but doing the equivalent of a month-long Rocky training montage with your WIP.
So what's a writer to do? Well never fear, cause ol' E.J. is here to help you out. The next time you need to write and someone tries to stop you, just respond with one of the following--
I have leprosy from 8-10 PM every day.
There are monsters in our (insert writing spot here), and it's going to take a few thousand words to flush them out.
I can't wear pants or remove this clown mask until I reach my word count. However, I'm happy to do whatever it is you need me to do sans pants, clown-mask-on until then.
Our computer was taken over by a gang of vicious cyber-terrorist, and if I don't write they're going to share (insert embarrassing photo memory here) on Facebook.
There are two versions of me: Writing me and pissed-off-bat-crap-crazy-homicidal-depressed-hates-puppies-never-cooks-slaps-babies-sets-fire-to-ALL-the-things me. Which do you prefer?
I'm Facebook chatting with your (insert most annoying family member here) so she won't call. This could take a while. Would you like me to tell her to call you instead?
I've agreed to donate $1 of your money to the local animal shelter for every word I fall short on my goal. Between dirty diapers, work, and getting our eldest child's foot sewn back on, I'm probably going to need around $45,000. Or they've agreed to let us adopt this abandoned litter of 13 very cute--but very feral--kittens instead (show ANY picture of numerous kittens running amok). OR I could TOTALLY just write some more.
This year's NaNoWriMo prize is the producers of Lost will finally tell us what the last episode meant.
This year's NaNoWriMo prize is Miley Cyrus will no longer stick her tongue out.
I'm working on math story problems--want to help?
You ever read (insert WIP title here)? No? Really? (pull out tuft of your own hair and set it on fire) IT'S BECAUSE I HAVEN'T FINISHED WRITING THE DAMN THING!
You ever read (insert obscure book title here)? No? Really? Let me tell you about it: There's this writer who is frustrated because she never has time to write. So she decides to start acting out her stories instead. It's great, you should read it. But I really need to get back to writing my story. It's about a wife/mom/sister/friend who does horrible things to people's food. Or I could make you a sandwich and we can keep chatting.
Are you NaNoWriMo-ing this year? If so, are you on track to meet your goal? If no, what are you working on? In either case, hope this bit of fun helps brighten your day and keeps you going. :)
~EJW~
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