IWSG - You Scare Me To Death

Hey gang! VERY excited to be taking part in my first Insecure Writer's Support Group blog hop. If you aren't in the know about IWSG, here's the reals (sorry, been working on my hip cat, jargon-slang and wanted to try it out ... no, it won't happen again):

Click this-here photo & it'll take you to that-there page ... 

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer.

So basically, it's a group of writers who feed one another's neurosis by saying, "No, I'm FAR crazier than you are", it's an ode to being a hot mess, it's the mentally disturbed running the asylum, it's----well, now you understand why I had to get involved.

You Scare Me To Death

I'm not a people pleaser. Okay, that's a lie. I truly enjoy making people happy  (makes me feel good to my bones as my grandmother would've said). Maybe more accurately I should say that I'm not someone who needs to be liked. 

The non-Web me is a bit of a smartass. I say what's on mind and have my own opinion about most things. Though I don't usually offer those opinions unless I'm asked, if you do ask you'd better be ready to hear an unfiltered 'E.J.' answer--'cause that's only kind I know how to give.

The result is that I'm a genuine person, but not very PC, and that can ruffle feathers. I'm cool with that. I'll note that I'm not someone who requires others to agree with me for us to be friends. In fact, most of my friends are as different from me as stars are to moons. I guess we just like good conversation that way. :-)

Anyway, that's why my wanting to fit in with my writing peers is so perplexing to me. 

It's probably because I admire you all so much. I know the kind of passion you're bringing to the table every day (I can read it on your blogs), and I see the talent oozing out of everything you do. I see you doing the same things I'm trying to do, and doing them better, with more confidence. 

If I'm being honest, and that's what this IWSG thing is all about, you intimidate me.

Here's a secret: When a random reader tells me what they think about my writing, I'm interested, but ultimately not affected. I've learned to distance myself from that kind of torment. But when one of my writing-blogging friends gives me feedback (or a review) I have a panic attack.

I've been blogging and interacting in the online writing community for a few years now, and 99% of the time I feel I've somewhat earned my spot a the big kids table. But there's always this latent fear that one of you, someone I truly admire, is going to pull me aside and say, "I'm sorry, there was a mistake and I'm going to need your 'I'm A Writer' t-shirt back. The coffee mug, too."

I want to be a part of this group of word warriors--I've worked hard to be one of them. But I don't always feel like I am. 

So naturally I join ANOTHER writing group to subject myself to more of your awesomeness. (Yes, the irony has leapt into the boat and smacked me in the face with its smelly tail.)

~EJW~


 

 







64 comments:

  1. I hear you, my friend. I sometimes feel like I'm not worthy of this community. Everyone here seems to have it together with posts, fests, talking about writing. Then there's me. A smartass who hardly ever talks about writing, who knows almost nothing about industry in and outs and I often go for days without blogging period. But we have such an accepting and warm community that I do feel accepted.

    And can I get some of that smartass unfiltered EJ? ;)

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    1. I LOVE that you're a smartass who rarely talks about writing (and LOADS about football) Melissa! In fact, that's why I started following your blog! lol

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  2. *Handing you an awesome writer's coffee mug *
    The good thing is that people can't take the mug and T-shirt. You are a lifetime member.

    So you just joined IWSG?

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    1. Yep, this is my first month! Although most of my posts are IWSG quality. And thanks for the mug! :-)

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  3. Too funny. I guess I can't join up the IWSG because I don't want to be reminded of my insecurities. Ignorance in this particular instance makes me feel something--superior--NO--Bliss? NO. Well, I'm not sure but I'd rather not think about it. Luv Ya.

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    1. TDR, you should TOTALLY join IWSG. It was made for people like us ... us meaning I think you're awesome, not "we're mutants who fear sunlight and people". :-D

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  4. I'm with Melissa, I want some of the smartass EJ to show up sometimes! :D

    I can relate to everything you're saying here, I'm the queen of panic attacks. I can have a panic attack over a long line at the grocery store so getting feedback on writing is enough to send me to the padded room.

    I'm glad you decided to join IWSG!

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    1. See, the beauty of my non-web friendships is that they're around me enough to know I'm a nice guy in total. I'm afraid I'd run most of you off! :-) I need to friend some of you on my 'normal' Facebook to give you a taste, then you won't ask for the real me. lol

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  5. Emotionallu, I bounce back and forth between over confident and under the dung pile. So I'm not sure I should join this group...what if I'm over confident mode when you all write your posts? :) Anyway, love your post.

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    1. Thanks Anita! There's actually room for all kinds in the IWSG--some folks just encourage others WITH confidence. And I think most of us vacillate between the two extremes of feeling bold and meek.

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  6. You can really say what you feel! I so admire that about you~
    I totally understand where your live, come from-etc.
    I feel like a fraud-art, poetry, writing...so many mistakes!

    YOU have the voice, you just need to continue to follow the stars
    and you will continue to shine, more and more~

    I don't think any one ever feels like they have learned the craft! It grows, morphs and we have to dance around with dust motes of doubt~ It is part of the creative bewitching brew~ One minute creative high, next we feel dropped on our heads~ Be brave, word warriors have to write to fight! Continue on your quest of word searching and scene stealing fun!

    You are doing it!
    You are part of the clan and besides we all fake it, till we make it ;D

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    1. So much truth in your words Ella ... I think we do all just make it up as we go most days. That's part of the creative mindset. You're absolutely one of the folks I look to for that kind of determination. :-)

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  7. OMG, E.J., get out of my brain!!!! Yeah, I feel very much the same way. I can have total strangers read my stuff and not be too flummoxed if they don't like it, but when I send stuff out for friends to read I freak!! I want them to like it so much. And I don't want to lose my "writer card" either. Ha!

    Welcome to the IWSG!! We've been waiting. :)

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    1. I'm a parasite like that LG! :-D Brain intrusion aside, I've definitely been overdue for joining this particular group. :-)

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  8. I think we all want this! There's something about the caliber of writers found in the blogosphere that makes (at least me) want to impress. Maybe it's because I have my fingers crossed that I'll be one of the 'cool' kids someday and have a successful book. Anyway, welcome to IWSG. Such a great resource :)

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    1. Thanks J.A.! The other writers definitely make me want to raise my game, which is a big reason why I blog at all. :-)

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  9. Gah, I feel the same way. I want to be a online blogging cool kid. LOL. But it's like high school. It's all relative.

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    1. It is all relative, Jenny. Just bouncing around the IWSG blogs today confirms that ... we all suffer similar aches and pains. We're all a little nutty about this writing stuff. :-)

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  10. You are a WORD WARRIOR!! In fact that sounds like an awesome subtitle for the IWSG group!
    If I had an official writer's mug and t-shirt - I would hand you them. You definitely deserve both!

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    1. lol Okay, we need to make Word Warrior and 'I'm A Writer' mugs NOW Tyrean. I'm thinking they'll be this year's hottest gifts! :-)

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  11. This is a non-threatening group. No chance of being destroyed by a comment here.

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    1. Oh there's always a chance on the Internet Tonja. lol But I agree, IWSG is full of good folks.

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  12. EJ!!! Welcome to the ISWG. I can see by this humorous, well written and revealing post that you fit right in! IWSG demonstrates in such a wonderful way, how we solitary writers support each other. Thank you so much for your kind comment on Middle Passages. Really, you made my day. You ARE a word warrior, whether or not you have the mug.

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    1. You deserve the kindness Liza. You seriously rock! And we REALLY need those mugs! :-D

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  13. We're not taking back your t-shirt! You earned it. You do fit in at the big kid's table, trust me. And honesty with a little snark is good sometimes.

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    1. I like this: honesty with a little snark :-)

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  14. Crap, almost forgot - welcome to the group!!!!

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    1. Thanks for putting it together Alex! I should've committed to this a long time ago ...

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  15. Welcome to the group. And I think you are very supportive of authors and that makes you a people person. BTW, thanks for commenting on my post on Goodreads. No one ever does that!

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    1. You're welcome Michael! I've decided to try to do that more (commenting on Goodreads as opposed to the regular blogs) just for that reason--no one does it. :-)

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  16. Hi E.J. and welcome! You've definitely paid your dues, so don't let anyone take away your "I'm a Writer" T-shirt and mug! :-)

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  17. But ... but I thought we got to keep the T-shirt and mug as a free gift!

    And you've definitely earned a spot at the table. It's easy to worry about those things. Sometimes you have to step back, take a deep breath, and remember you have paid your writer dues. :)

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  18. Lol, you crack me up. A bit of snark is great! Welcome to the IWSG. :)

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  19. You've definitely earned your place at the big kids' table. :D
    (Now tell me how to get there.)

    IWSG #145 until Alex culls the list again. :)

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  20. Oh my goodness, you've definitely earned your place. And I love who you are and how you express yourself. Thanks for your thoughtful comments on my blog today. I needed that!
    Karen

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  21. Awwwww--welcome to the insecure writers!!! I don't think there's any reason to be intimidated. You've definitely earned your spots. PLUS, I think the writing community is super supportive!

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  22. Not only are you part of this group of word warriors, you're a leader! EJ, this shocks me! But it's great, because you're humble. With your talent, I wouldn't be surprised if you had a bit of an ego, lol... But honestly, you're in my top 5 favorite bloggers. Easy. You're real, inspiring, down to earth, and talented. But like I said, you're also a leader---you carry weight, and your opinion matters. ;-)

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  23. Hi E.J. and welcome to IWSG. I feel the same as you sometimes. I guess it comes with being a writer. Nice to meet ya!

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  24. It is so strange, EJ. Out in the real world, I'm a chronic people pleaser. I have to be liked by everyone or else I fall to pieces. I have this inner fear of being abandoned or unloved and it can affect nearly every aspect of my life.

    Except for when it comes to hanging out with my writer blogger friends. I know I have nothing to worry about with them because I usually see them a good portion of the time. Might not always happen on the blog itself, but I still find time and a place to chat it up with them a little.

    Weird how we switch it up when we're online, huh?

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  25. I feel the exact same way! Gah!

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  26. "I'm sorry, there was a mistake and I'm going to need your 'I'm A Writer' t-shirt back. The coffee mug, too." <--- I worry about that ALL the time.

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  27. Feel like a fraud? Join the club! Oh wait, you already joined the club (IWSG). I'm sitting at the big kids table, but I'm pretty sure my feet are dangling in the chair. Don't worry, EJ, you're in the right place.

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  28. Wow! You really nailed the individuals of this group! At least we don't need no stinkin' badges!

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  29. To be honest, I thought you were part of the group already, lol. Oh, and this group is as intimidating as a fluffy teddy bear ;)

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  30. Well, in that case, none of us belongs.

    You're blunt? So am I! It's taken years of people skills training to insert tact into my bluntness.

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  31. I very much appreciate telling-it-like-it-is :)

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  32. I'm the same way! Blogosphere Carrie is on her best behavior. (Sometimes #NALitChat Carrie fails at the behavior thing...) But in "real life," I am all kinds of blunt! LOL

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  33. I'm a smart-arse in real life, too. Rarely does it come out in the Blog World, but it's easy to monitor that sort of thing when writing up a post. Sometimes I think it would be better to let the sarcasm out of the bag, but it's not that I'm suppressing it so much as just trying to put together a reasonable piece that ends up losing the sarcasm. And, yes, I can be quite blunt, too. I'd rather do it this way than be one of the people I've run into (not in the blogging world) who are nasty online, but apparently quite nice in person.

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse

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  34. lol.. you're just like the rest of us then. I think most of us are fun loving smartasses except, as writer who have to be mindful of our online behavior, we keep it on the DL. Ya just never know who you're gonna offend.
    And since this group is so diverse, with writers of all levels, there's no one off limits. So we'll allow you to stay. lololol couldn't resist. Truth is we all feel like imposters at time. Twitter felt like that for while for me, til I found the real writer peeps who didn't overlook others just cuz they had a bookdeal or some such nonsense. Who cares about that. If you don't have friends to celebrate with, then none of that matters anyway.
    Okay so I think I'm getting off topic now, but point is, you're a darn good writer and you bet your arse this is where you should be. Posting alongside us every month. Welcome to the group, brother!

    BTW thanks for the warm wishes on my blog. :)

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  35. i'm tired of pc. never been good at it. i'm a joker & a teaser too. its a shame so many people take offense when none is intended. why do WE have to change? why dont THEY get thicker skins and stronger self esteem? change pc to tu - toughen up! the world is grooming a bunch of wusses...or at least america is. thanks for letting me vent! so glad you stopped by!

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  36. I've had that exact vision: someone telling me "Sorry, we made a mistake!" Today I'd tell them to stick it. A writer I am, I am, I am!

    EJ, I'm very happy to make your acquaintance! Happy IWSG!

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  37. I don't think anyone's going to send you back to the kid's table :-)
    I think PC can be over-the-top at times, but there are some non-pc words that truly make me bristle and cause me to form less-than-pleasant opinions about the people saying them (was that nebulous enough?).

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  38. Welcome to the IWSG. I feel really insecure most of the time, especially amongst such talented and published writers... I sometimes ask myself, who do you think you are to include yourself as a part of this awesome online community of super-talented writers?
    So there you have it...

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  39. Well, E.J.

    I am VERY IMPRESSED. What a fantastic first post ... AN LOOK AT ALL THESE COMMENTS! YOU have most certainly EARNED your spot at the "Big kid's table".... NO ONE will be revoking your membership or asking for anything back!



    WIsh I could say that ... LOL.

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  40. I think many of us feel the same way and this is why IWSG works so well. It gives us the opportunity each month to release these feelings with others who know exactly how it feels to be a writer! It is a wonder that we are not all mad!

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  41. If anyone tries to take away your t-shirt and mug, clock em! I haven't been blogging as long as you but I already feel the panic well up inside me when a good blogging buddy reads my work as opposed to a "stranger." Sometimes I think if I ever publish my book, I'll do it without telling anyone and under a different pen name! And I agree with comments above, smartass EJ needs to come out and play sometimes. (:

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  42. Welcome to the group! This is such a great post, I agree and pretty much feel the same way. The most stresetup reviews of my book come from writers. I also get really stressed when I review books now...
    doreenmmcgettigan.com

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  43. Auto correct really stresses me too:) **stressful**

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  44. What can I say but I feel the same way. Please don't ask for my shirt back, it's stained in blueberry jam and just reads "I'm a Witer". Thanks for fitting in.

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  45. Welcome to the group E.J.

    Oh man, I'm exactly the same way. Every time I send pages to my crit group, I wonder if they will revoke my membership.

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  46. It's interesting-- that we can be bothered by people we don't even know, isn't it? I lost a follower today and though I have no idea who it is, I worry that I haven't dropped by enough (or at all??), haven't been a good blogger. I should be more like you and not worry so much what people think. And then I find out that people who don't worry about what people think still have people that make them worry about what they think about them. Hmmmm... did that make sense?

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  47. Funny, I do the same thing. Wonder if that's a writer thing? Yet we have an excellent community here. It's the best group of folks that I've ever had the honor of knowing.

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  48. Strange how we perceive each other. I have always admired your writing and your blog posts. I think because we are creative that that makes us insecure. E.J., I think you're one of the best.

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“Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

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