Let's Play Grinch ... You Know You Want To.

The holiday season is reaching its apex, and while there is plenty of joy and cheer to be had, sometimes it can all be a little taxing.  We've all seen (and I'm sure a few of us have had) holiday meltdowns.  You know what I'm talking about.  Like when the person in front of you at the grocery store completely destroys a teenage checker for not asking for their preferred bag-type.  (Paper?  Plastic?  Or holiday death-wish?)  Or when someone starts ramming cars in the Starbucks drive thru in some kind of caffeine depleted rage.

(True story alert!)  I was at the post office last week and saw a 75 year old man hurl his post office box keys at the clerk because they wouldn't open his box.  And to all a good frigging night!  This got me to thinking, a dangerous pastime I know.  We need a safe way for people to vent their holiday frustrations before someone goes to prison.  This is me paying it forward.  Here are the five things I hate the most about the holidays, feel free to create your own lists in the comments.  Consider it an open forum to rant about what really ticks you off.  And remember: If you don't share, I'll hunt you down and make you eat mistletoe (it's poisonous you know).

Be sure to stick around until the end to read about how you can win a Nook Color eReader simply by following a pretty awesome blog!

5. Traffic

While some of you may not live in large cities and not know the joys of a 45 minute car ride to go 1 mile, let me just tell you that even Santa would be ready to punch someone in the giblets if he had sat at the same stoplight for half-an-hour watching only three cars make it through each green light.

4. Work Parties

Is there anything more exquisitely painful than being forced to celebrate a job that is the source of all evil in your life?  How about celebrating that job with 50 people you don't know AND having to act like it's the best time of your life?  Thought so ...

3. People that Hate the Holidays

Yeah, we know your kids are a pain in the rump, that you don't believe in XYZ, and that you'll be drinking martinis and skiing on Christmas Eve.  Some of us spend the rest of the year thinking about THIS time of year.  Don't ruin it for us, and most of all don't destroy it for the kids that are probably listening to you make fun of their parents.  NOTE FROM THE BLOGGIST - I don't hate the holidays, just the game.

2. Long Lines

"I just need a gallon of milk."  Famous last words this time of year.  You expect to wait at the post office, you expect to wait at the airport, and you most definitely expect to wait at the shopping mall.  But a cue at the gas station?  A two hour line at the Red Box machine?  Ouch.

1. Crappy Music

Let me preface this by saying that I love holiday music.  I'm the guy that has it blasting in October.  However, there is just so much wonderful music out there that it befuddles me as to why malls can only play the same 3 awful songs over and over.  My most hated?  Watch the video and curse me for getting it stuck in your head for the rest of the day.

Can someone explain to me how a Beatle churned out that crap?  Anywho, hope your holiday IS filled with cheer and awesomeness.  Remember to be polite, and always carry pepper spray.  



  1. I have to admit that the last few Christmas work parties I've been to have been pretty spectacular though. I do hate a lot of the music though and I hate the my wife LOVES it.

    Merry Xmas!

  2. I hate long lines-especially when the lady behind me(who shows obvious hatred for the Merry Holiday Season) keeps ramming her shopping cart into the back of me! Love your blog! Merry Christmas!

  3. Okay, so we've spent a good hour piling gifts for our relatives into a shopping cart. We had wrapping paper, labels, even lampshades in our cart. This is a huge store and I wanted to put some collectible Pez dispensers in the cart. "Honey, where's the cart?"
    We spend the next ten minutes scouring the store for our cart.
    Finally, we see lampshades behind the checkout stand. Some lady had unloaded our stuff so she could have a cart. Can you imagine?

  4. Happy Holidays back. But then, I do the Twelve Days until Los Reyos ... and combine it with the Greek Orthodox season ... Frantic? No, I take the time to indulge myself from about the 20th when I finish with everybody else's Christmas. ... Oh, I do cook the Christmas dinner.

  5. I do all my shopping early and then refuse to leave my house till it's all over. I suggest that everyone else do the same....or at least shop online and avoid the post office.

  6. @ Chris: Merry Xmas back at you!

    @ Cat: There REALLY needs to be a buggy edict course. I'm not sure when it became OK to run people over to get to the Ding Dongs, but I've got marks to prove it's a trend.

    @ TDR: No way! I can totally believe it, I guess. It just makes me sad.

    @ Kay: Ha! :) Hope you have a good one!

    @ Becky: We've started doing 90% of our shopping online, and my wife vowed to do all of it from home next year. She doesn't learn lessens very well, so I'll keep you updated!

  7. Alright the five things I hate most about Christmas are: Out of town guest who leave their dirty towels on my bathroom floor. The electric bill for the month of December when my husband decides to out do Chevy Chase. Egg Nog without Rum. Bows that fall off my wrapped presents no matter how much duck tape I use. And yes, I am with you E.J. I absolutely HATE crappy Christmas music!

  8. Trisha: I love the Chevy Chase people! I envy their energy determination. Then again, you're right; it isn't my electric bill!

  9. ahh, Tis the Season. I do find that if you're just "normal nice" at this time of year sales people fall all over you-- they're broken down by all the a-holes.
    As for Christmas music... I worked one year in the mall, and came up with some choice alternative lyrics. good times.

  10. You are so right about how rude people can be. Pepper spray? I don't go anywhere without my taser. I have had it since I worked nights as a waitress and had to trek across a long empty parking lot.

    I haven't had too many people mess with me. lol Have a great holiday!

  11. 1. Atheists. They get gifts and have parties and all, even though they don't believe in the real reason for the holiday. They should get no gifts.

    2. Traffic--I'm with you there!

    3. Long lines--Ditto.

    4. Crowds--I am eternally grateful for online shopping!

  12. Hey, EJ. Your list pretty much sums it up for me too. Impatience has to be my number one hate for the season. Peeps are so impatient about everything. However, a very close second would be the fact I work for an airline and every year have to deal with angry passengers who are stuck and can't get home for Xmas due to winter storms. It's very heartbreaking--peeps miss cruises they've waited all year for, soldiers missing a few precious days at home with family, students who are broke forced to spend days at a time sleeping in airports. This year was London Heathrow--the busiest airport in the world--closed for an entire day and flights canceled for 4 days in a row! Always tough. Makes me happy my family is right here with me in town.

    Wishing you a very merry Christmas!

  13. Can I add that idiotic Christmas Shoes song to your Worst Christmas Song list? If I could tear my own leg off and beat the songwriter with it, I think I might.

    Merry Christmas!

  14. I love your list! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get back to yours. It's great to meet someone else who loves Christmas like I do.


“Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

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