Hell Hath Frozen

No, it hasn't rained in Texas, I've just decided to do a blog award post! My old-time followers know that my blog award stance is thus: I'm exceedingly appreciative, but highly unlikely to do the little 'pass it forward' bit that most of the awards require. As such, I rarely accept awards as an actual blog post.

WHY?

Because I'm a massive jerk.  Not really ... well, maybe. But the REAL reason why I don't do them is because I found them to be a ton of work and, while the intent is good, I've found that many bloggers consider them to be a burden. 

I've actually given a 'No Strings Attached' award simply as a way of saying thanks, you're awesome, without burdening folks with telling us what kinds of underwear they prefer.  (Which I'm about to do ... wait for it ...)

So why am I breaking tradition? Simple! 1) I've had a tremendous amount of bloggers-block this week.  I've wanted to post something, but just couldn't figure out what. 2) Both of the awards I'm going to acknowledge today come from some very dear blog friends, and the award concepts/challenges are cool.  3) I do what I want!

Without further delay, the awards:

WHERE I TALK ABOUT UNDERWEAR (Told you to wait for it. PG-13)

Courtesy of Shelly at the Life of a Novice Writer blog. She's super sweet, and oh so funny. Don't believe me?  Check out her underwear post.

What it's about: You answer a bunch of questions about underwear. Here we go ...

1.  Do you have any commonly used nicknames for your underwear?

You mean like britches, banana hammocks, the Midnight Specials, the dungeons of fun or manhood-holsters?  No, naming them would just be silly ...

2. Have you ever had that supposedly common dream of being in a crowded place in only your underwear?

I rarely have dreams, especially memorable ones. If did have one, I'd probably be more focused on being chased by leopard seals wearing clown masks while Ke$ha and Bieber fought to the death on a distant mountain top than my clothing (or lack thereof).

3. What is the worst thing you can think of to make underwear out of?

Easy. Chain mail or burlap.

4. If you were a pair of underwear what color would you be?

Eggplant or mother of pearl.

5. Have you ever thrown your underwear at a rock star or celebrity? If so, which ones? If not, which ones?

No. If they were made of chain mail I'd throw them at Bieber.  

6. You’re out of underwear what do you do?

WWRD -- What Would Rambo Do?  


7. Are you old enough to remember Underoos? If so, did you have any? Which ones?

Star Wars and Dukes of Hazzard.  I thought the picture of the General Lee on the bum made me run faster.

8. If you could have any message printed on your underwear, what would it be?

Play nice or I'll take my balls and go home. That should probably be a bumper sticker on one of the gigantic pickup trucks I see driving around here in Texas.

9. How many bloggers does it take to put undies on a goat?

Seeing as how it would require the bloggers to leave the house, and we know how much bloggers hate sunlight, it might take quite a few.

WHERE I TALK ABOUT MYSELF

Courtesy of Julie of the What Else is Possible? blog. Julie is a tireless blogger, librarian and dog lover. i.e. FRAWESOME Go check her out. Now.
What it's about: It's called the 7X7 Blog Award and you're supposed to reference 7 posts from your own blog history according to the topics.

1. Most Beautiful: 

While I'm not certain the word beautiful really applies to my blog, I'd have to list my Tragedy & Hope post as the most beautiful simply because it remembers a beautiful person. It was my attempt to juxtapose tragedy, like the loss of an aspiring YA author to cancer or the devastation caused by vicious tornados, with the beauty of living--no matter how briefly--a life undaunted.

2.  Most Helpful: 

I'm going to pick the post that has been the most helpful to me personally. It was my Q & R for Quiet Resolve A-Z Challenge post. I try to read it at least once every few weeks to remind myself that I wrote it, and that the words were truly meant.

3 & 4. Most Popular AND Most Controversial: 

I certainly don't intensionally cause a ruckus, I just think out loud. As such, I have quite a few posts that might fall under the controversial heading. I've definitely lost my share of followers (gained way more than I've lost, though), and I have a sneaking suspicion that some traditionally published folks who once followed my blog no longer admit to knowing me because of my views on some of the trends in the publishing machine. One post in particular about the uproar over .99 cent eBooks seemed to cause the most stir--to the point that it is my all-time most viewed post. I got some less than flattering feedback behind the scenes on that one, but I'll say the vast majority of folks agreed with me.    

5. Most Surprisingly Successful: 

This is tricky, because I'm always a little surprised that anyone reads this stuff. That being said, hands down my BlogOholics Anonymous post was the most surprising. I did it as a spoof, as sort of a way of making an observation that the more frequently I posted, the fewer comments I seemed to get. It really struck a nerve and got picked up by a couple of popular content blogs.

6 & 7. Most Underrated and Most Prideworthy: 

Occasionally my emotions get the best of me, and this is one time that I'm glad they did. I love young people. My teenage years were hard for me, and I think that makes me empathize with the demographic. I'm also a counselor by education, and have worked a ton with that age group, seeing firsthand how awful it can be. My post on the Teen Suicide epidemic is one I'm most proud of, one that I think everyone should read, and also one of my least viewed/commented on.

That's it! I probably won't do another one of these award things ... maybe ever.  Please don't stop giving me awards, though!  They truly make my week and keep me blogging.  I know how much they mean to everyone, so I'm going to pass these on to, well, EVERYONE.  I'd love to read your top 7 posts, and yes, even about your underwear habits if you care to share.  Plus it's amusing blog filler.

So let us have it in the comments.  If you accept one (or both) of these awards, blog them and then post the links here so we can all check them out.  Or/also hit me up on Twitter and I'll re-Tweet your links.  Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

~EJW~