That's Life

Life

LIFE

Life is taking out the garbage, dropping the kids at daycare and cleaning up spills.

LIFE is signing the papers on your first home, the moment your child comes into the world and surveying the devastation of a flooded home. 

Life is going to the park, picking out new underwear and eating ice cream.

LIFE is walking in the rain forest you've only seen in pictures, seeing yourself in THE wedding dress for the first time in the mirror and having gelato on a hillside in Tuscany as the sun sets. 

We all know that moments are not created equal. Nor are days, weeks and years. There is normal, and there is extraordinary. There is happy, and there is elation. There is not fun, and there is horrific. That's life.

My favorite Sinatra song inspired this post. Life also inspired this post. 

Last week I had leaky ceilings, dental visits and car inspections. This week I had drinks with dear friends I see only every few years. I got to see my friend's son conquer his fear of water slides and subsequently have the time of his young life. And was able to spend too-rare hours just hanging out with my spouse.

As usual, I found a writing lesson in all of this.

When I write my first drafts, I spend a lot of time thinking and writing about Life. Cups of coffee. Phone calls. Waking up. Falling asleep. And so on. It helps me figure out who the characters are. What they do. How they do it.

It's an essential part of my process, just as those cups of coffee, sleep and quick conversations with my brother are essential to my own life. Most of life is made up of Life. But it's only LIFE that counts in writing.

It isn't until I get to the second draft that I really figure out what constitutes as LIFE for my characters. 

A phone call from a friend is Life. A call from a grandparent they thought to be dead is LIFE. Coffee sipped over a friendly a chitchat is Life. Coffee thrown in a lover's face during a quarrel is LIFE. By my third time through I usually have a pretty good handle on it, but I still need to be cautious. 

Our stories should be filled with LIFE. Think of the story as a compendium of LIFE for our characters. Only include the dire, the exceptional, the exhilarating and the devastating. Everything else needs to support or facilitate that or get out of the way. 

As simple of a concept as it is, I've found it to be one of the hardest things to train myself to do. Probably because I can't imagine my own life in a Cliffs Notes version. It's exhausting to even think about! 


But there's good writing exercise in it ...

Try writing down your own life highlights. Maybe just from the past year. Now imagine building a story around just those things. Once you've done that you're onto something.

It hurts to cut the normal from the lives of our characters. Why? Because it would kill us to not have the normal in our own lives. The collection of "normal" is what makes up a childhood. Normal is the memory of your grandparents. Normal is the values your parents instilled in you that you're busy instilling in your own kids.


Take away the normal, and there just isn't much to life.

But no one likes to read about normal. We live normal. It's LIFE we want to read about.

~EJW~

Bleed It Out

What do you give to your stories? What part of YOU leaves to become part of the page? I'm pretty sure anyone who has ever pursued writing seriously understands what I'm asking.

Yeah here we go for the hundredth time 

Hand grenade pins in every line

There's a process. It can be painful. It must be repeated. While I've been aware of it, I'm not sure if I've really come to peace with it until the last few weeks. 

What we do, no matter the level of expertise or area of writing, is nothing less than soul mining. We dig, we scour and we cajole. Anything to conjure a few words, to articulate the things in our heads.

Dug the trench out laid down there 

With a shovel up out of reach somewhere 

Yeah, someone pour it in 

Make it a dirt dance floor again

Not going to lie, it has frustrated the hell out of me at times. Nothing is good enough for ME. Furthermore, there's almost zero extrinsic value in it. I can count the "Atta boys" I've gotten on both hands. 

And to be honest, even if Stephen King and J.K. Rowling co-authored a letter titled, "Why We Think E.J. is the Greatest Writer of All-Time" I still wouldn't buy it. This is my struggle. What do they know about it? 

I am Sisyphus, and that rock is never going to crown that damned hill so long as I'm pushing it.  

Truth is you can stop and stare 

Run myself out and no one cares

I realize this entire post is going to come off as the Angst-ridden Writer Guy venting, but I don't care. I don't care because I think I've needed to say it. And I think you might need to hear it. 

Writing is thankless. It's a battle with yourself that you'll never win. The entire point of it is to pour yourself--your words--out until it runs dry. To try and say something in way that only you can say it. Once it's done, you do it again.

And that's okay.

F#@! this hurts, I won't lie 

Doesn't matter how hard I try 

Half the words don't mean a thing 

And I know that I wont be satisfied

I'm not suggesting I don't write for the reader. I think you have to. Put the truth serum (i.e. Merlot) in me, and I'll tell you what I really want to do is entertain. If I can get the reader caught up in what I'm saying long enough to forget about their crying dog or barking child, I call it success. 

But ultimately it's more about stirring something in them, not just telling them a story. I also realize most of what I write isn't going to achieve that lofty aspiration.

I bleed it out digging deeper 

Just to throw it away

So that's what this is about. Embracing the process. Give it your all every last stinking time as if it is the last stinking time. Don't expect anything out of it but the process. Don't regret the suffering. Don't regret anything. 

Expect people to dance as you burn. Expect them to want more even when you've been bled out. It's called a challenge for a reason. 

I bleed it out digging deeper 

Just to throw it away

I've listened to the song BLEED IT OUT by LINKIN PARK (all of the big BLUE words in this post are theirs, as is the song below) a few hundred times over the last three years. Not joking. 

It's in my exercise mix and it gets me going. It has also put my b.i.c. (butt in chair) to write on many occasions when I'd just about given up. It's probably the closest thing I have to a "Rocky" theme song. 

If you're not ruffled by a little language, you should give it a listen.

Do you have a song? A quote? Anything that sums up what this writing thing is about?


~EJW~

Tips for Podcast Easy Listening

Hey all! Sorry I didn't get around to posting this in the second half of last week as planned. See, there was a holiday thing, and then another, and then there was this woman. Don't get the wrong idea, she and my wife are very close. (Okay, REALLY don't get the wrong idea now. :)

She's a great woman, let me tell you. I'd drop anything for her, and that hasn't changed in 10 (plus now) years. All this writing/blogging/stuff I do? She's totally into it. In fact, she encourages it. (Probably so I'll leave her alone.) There really isn't much I do that she doesn't support.

No, we aren't a perfect match or anything. We're a little competitive with one another. Don't ever ask one of us who loves the other more. She'll say I'm better at showing and saying it, and I'll say she's better at simply doing it.

Also, she's a dessert person and I favor a second helping. Plus there's the civil war we had over oaked wine. She loves a heavy oaking, while I tend to like to drink my wine, not chew on it.

Still, I'd say we do a fine job of living and loving together. And we keep the knife fights to a minimum.

Anyway, wedding anniversaries are always special, but I had to make the big 10 something we'd remember. That devoured my blogging (and anything, really) time. Mia culpas all around.

As for what I promised, last week I recommended a couple of writing podcasts for your listening pleasure. I also promised some quick tips for listening, as I found out it can be somewhat cumbersome if you simply want to listen to several in a sitting (or working). Useful for the short casts (which I favor). So here goes:

1) Download iTunes

A lot of folks responded to my last post lamenting their less-than-awesome Internet speeds. Pocasts are typically very minimal in terms of size--a one hour cast is somewhere around 25 mb. For the sake of comparison, the song Rolling in the Deep by Adele is 7.7 mb. Still, if your Information Superhighway is congested there are some ways to avoid the inevitable forehead bruises induced by buffering-face-desk episodes.

The first thing to do is download iTunes. Virtually every significant podcast is available through the iTunes store. Better still, they're all F.R.E.E. Better, better still you can search for what you're looking for.

Once you click on the 'PODCAST' tab in the store it'll take you to the podcast storefront. There's a little empty box in the upper righthand corner. Type "writing" (for instance) in that little box and watch every writing related podcast pop up. Easy peasy.

Once you find your cast, click the subscribe option and iTunes will keep it in a list of your favorite podcasts. Here's the 411 on listening to podcasts in iTunes.

How is all of this going to help with your slow Internet connections? You see, iTunes doesn't just download all eleven billion Cat Tips podcasts at once. It let's you pick and choose when and what you want to listen to. 

So here's the solution: Before you go to bed, select the podcasts you want to listen to on the morrow, click "GET" and let the Web fairies do their magic while you slumber. Now you can play Farmville and listen at the same time.

2) Create a Playlist

So you've gotten iTunes installed on your death machine (AKA computer of choice), now what? Start listening of course! Problem: iTunes doesn't jump to the next podcast in the list once one has finished. Meaning you have to get back to your machine and click play again. 

Yes, you have to actually click stuff to keep 'em coming. Not a big deal if you're listening to hour-long podcasts, but many of my faves are less than 20 minutes. And if I'm cleaning, exercising or whatnot I don't want to stop and go find the next one.

Seriously, did George Orwell design this thing for future people who can replicate themselves or are the living supposed to use it? And yes, future me would totally create a replica just to sit in front of the computer and click play. It's maddening! Anyway, there's a workaround. Create a playlist.

Here's a detailed walkthrough. Basically, you make it like you would any music playlists. You give it a clever name, like "EJ's Anti-Roadrage Mix" or "Podcasts" then start dragging and dropping podcasts into the list. Simple. 

If you're listening on an iPod, etc. make sure your podcast playlist is set to sync or you're going to be running to Billy Joel again and not Car Talk. 

3) You Want to Listen on Shuffle 

(i.e. You Aren't a Boring Fun-Eating Troll)

Trolls!!! Told you.

You've loaded down your podcast playlist with enough podcasts to get you through the impending apocalypse. Good job! What, you don't want to listen to 400 consecutive episodes of green energy tips? 

George Orwell rears his ugly head again! Podcasts in iTunes are automatically set to 'skip' in shuffle mode. Speaking of Orwellian, can we reanimate Steve Jobs already? He'd get this worked out ...

Thankfully, we won't need to wait on science--or zombies--to get around this. In your created podcast playlist:

• Highlight the podcasts you'd like to be included in the shuffling. 

• Right click on your mouse-pointer-thingy.

• You'll see the options list pop out. Now click "Get Info". 

• Another pop out box! *confetti* Click the "Options" tab. 

• Under "Options" make sure the box next to "Skip when shuffling" is checked and that the drop down list next to that says "NO"

Now you're golden! Click play and the voices in your head will have some company.

What say you? Have any great tips for podcast listening? Do you use something other than the direct site or iTunes? If you checked out any of my previous recs, did you enjoy them? Why/Why not? 

Also, a warning: My next post is going to be a serious discussion. (I know, dad's got another lecture, right?) Been reading a lot about Internet thievery and plagiarism, and I think it's a growing concern for authors. Both as would-be criminals and victims. 

Until then, via con a story on your mind and a song in your heart.

~EJW~

Are You Listening?

Howdy gang! Trust you've all survived the life sledgehammer we call Monday? I'm still counting toes, but I think I made it through mostly intact. 

I'm smiling at the title of this post, because it was my long-dead deaf grandmother's catchphrase. She lost her hearing early in life, and I never knew her any other way. So I was an unusually patient kid when it came to people explaining things. 

Why? Because a conversation with grandma would take twice as long as any normal conversation. I'd often have to write things down (learned a lot about reading and writing in that way) for her to understand what I was trying to say. Or I'd have to find what I was talking about to show her. As I got older, I learned to speak slowly so she could read my lips, which she was aces at. 

As for the catchphrase, you'd be surprised at how adept we are at making conversation without actually looking at who we're talking and listening to. The reason is simple: We can hear. 

It's why telephones work. We can say, 'mmm hmmm' and 'uh huh' and 'sure' and the person on the other end of the conversation knows we're listening.

Granny didn't have that luxury. So if she were telling you something important, she'd often qualify it with, "Are ye listening?" That was your cue to turnaround and give her your face-front full attention. 

I'm a pretty good listener. I owe part of that to my counseling background, but I owe a lot to granny too. I learned good listening skills long before I knew what they were: Eye contact. Use lots of non-verbal affirmations (nod, more pronounced facial expressions, etc.). Frequently check for understanding, and so on.

But enough of the memory lane. Let's play a game! 

Here's how it works: I'm going to ask you a question. Then, because I'm a lonely writer who doesn't ask questions to people who can actually hear and talk to him, I'm going to answer for you as well.

Wait, that doesn't sound like a fun game? (Asks the bossy five year old me.) Well we're going to play it anyway! (Says the bossy five year old me.) Here goes:

Me Question: Do you listen to podcasts?

You Answer: I should.

Wasn't that fantastic fun? I won by the way...

I know, you're busy. You've got 8 kids, 14 dogs, a lion cub, a flooding basement, 6 jobs, a 9th child you call your spouse and dinner won't fix itself. Who has the time to listen to podcasts, especially when it cuts into your LMFAO time? (You know you sing along when it comes on the radio. It's OK, this is a judgment free zone when it comes to music ... well, except for the Bieber.) 

That's exactly why you need to listen to podcasts. You can put them on in the background while cleaning, driving and cooking. The best part is there are some truly awesome writing related ones out there. And unlike reading a book on craft, you can listen to them while you're pulling your child out of the trash compactor. 

As I mentioned, there are lots of them out there, and they cover every imaginable writing subject. Some focus on genre, some talk about the industry, some give tips on publishing independently, some talk marketing and some are craft related.

Most are run by authors, but there are plenty done by editors and other book people. The two I'm going to pass on to you are some of the best I've found. They're short and exceedingly useful to your writing endeavors. 

The first is the Writing Excuses podcast. It's run by four authors whose backgrounds range from science fiction and fantasy to young adult horror. Each episode is (to quote their tagline), "15 minutes long, because you're in a hurry, we're not that smart." They cram a ton of useful information into each cast, have lots of great guests and cover everything from plotting to movie formulas. THEIR WEBSITE.  

The second is the Grammar Girl podcast. This is seriously like listening to a style guide, and a must for those who struggle with the finer details of writing and language (read - me). Even if you don't struggle, there's still plenty to learn. Grammar Girl covers things like how/when to use a dash, colon or comma and if using sentence fragments is an OK tactic in fiction. The best part is that she rarely strays over six or seven minutes for each topic--her tagline is, "Quick and Dirty Tips"--and you'll know tons more by the end. HER WEBSITE. 

HOW TO LISTEN

There are lots of ways to listen to podcasts. If you own a smart phone, there are numerous apps you can download that will manage your podcasts, allow you to add new ones, etc. If you're an iTune user, just go to the iTunes store and click on the "Podcasts" drop down list. You can search by whatever subject, download and listen. I think most if not all of them are free. 

You can also go to the specific website. If you click the links above, each podcast episode has a link to listen right there on the page.

I'm going to do a followup post this week with a couple of tips for listening via your iTunes, iPhone, etc.

Do you listen to any writing related podcasts?

~EJW~

For The Believers

Watch until the end ...



now go write something. :)


~EJW~